Many women now face the problem of alcoholism in the family. "My husband drinks every day, what to do? ", "My husband has been drinking for 10 days, how to behave? " - these questions have been heard more and more frequently lately. Of course, the spouse is an alcoholic, it's scary. And drunk alcoholism, if left untreated, is generally capable of turning life into eternal torture. But here you should always remember that alcoholism is a disease and not a personal choice of a particular person. Undoubtedly, a sick person needs the support of his loved ones, especially when he cannot cope with the problem on his own. But, as a rule, when the husband drinks, the wife suffers first. And at such times the question often arises: what to do when the husband has binged? There are few ways out of this situation: leave him and get a divorce, or try to fight for his life and help your loved one. Although we can safely say that this fight will not be easy. But the decision here must be made by the woman herself, no advice from a psychologist will help. Only she herself can decide what she wants and what she can do to achieve her goal.
Difficult decision
Divorce is the simplest and easiest solution. Thus, a woman seems to free herself from responsibility for a man's future destiny. But in this case, she must adhere to a certain behavior. The main thing here: if she decides to leave, go. Whatever the persuasion or the plea, it is important to know that the promises of an alcoholic cannot be trusted. He will do anything to convince his wife of hers: break down in tears, give gifts, fall to his knees. If this does not work, it is very possible that she will resort to violence or blackmail. Therefore, you should not follow her example, because believing this once, you can provoke the repeated repetition of such concerts. And they can last more than a week and even more than a month. The advice of a psychologist in this case is unequivocal: she should make a firm decision, convey this clearly to her husband, not trust promises and not give in to pity. We must always remember that no matter how bad the husband is, the wife will be twice as bad.
If the decision is made in the direction of fighting and helping the closest person, then the woman will have to be patient. The most important thing in this case is to understand why the husband started drinking, and then delve into the solution of this problem. Today, there are many ways to prevent a person from drinking alcohol.
First of all, she must learn to behave properly. If the spouse has started drinking more frequently and is periodically drunk, she may try to change tack. After all, he is sure that when she returns home, she will encounter another scandal with tears and smashed dishes. Or perhaps he will be greeted by deathly silence and icy contempt? In any case, you have to try to change: to become more affectionate, surround him with attention and care, try to open up other joys in life, in addition to drinking alcohol. Men are often confused by this behavior and then they are much easier to deal with. At the very least, he will protect himself and his children from unjustified assault and save himself from nerves.
Second, you must try to protect the faithful from your drinking friends. In fact, most of the time a man drinks vodka for company or for loneliness. By drinking excessively, men have very low self-esteem. It seems to them that no one needs them anymore and they are useless. He tries to prove how wrong he is:
- to show that he is the head of the family, his hope and support, and that without his participation everything can collapse;
- focus your attention on children who have psychological difficulties living with a drinking parent;
- to enthrall him with new interests and hobbies.
Codependency
A woman may not be able to leave her alcoholic husband with hers. There may be many reasons for this, but nevertheless, she needs to figure out how to live.
There is codependency, when a woman, whether she wants to or not, falls into a social or physical dependence on her husband, trying to get him out of the hole and return him to the family. This usually happens when a woman has a strong emotional bond with her partner. Only an experienced psychologist can help here.
There are clear signs by which the presence of codependency can be judged:
- the wife assumes responsibility for the health, mood, and well-being of her husband;
- she tries to please her husband by doing all the work for him;
- feels the need to help her husband with problems, in general, to solve them for him;
- justifies the inappropriate behavior of the spouse in front of others;
- she feels guilty for what she happened to her husband;
- she closes her eyes to the problem, believing that everything that is not done is for the better;
- she falls into the same dependence on alcohol, with no strength to resist;
- she considers herself a victim who pays for past sins;
- physically or emotionally attached to a spouse.
What to do for a wife when a husband binges
There are many reasons why men binge for a long time. These are the main ones:
- not wanting to resist the addiction;
- family problems;
- inability to cope with stress
Everyone knows that alcohol causes a feeling of euphoria, thus developing one of the strongest addictions in a person, which you may not want to overcome. Weak mentality and willpower can also be one of the reasons for heavy drinking. And if the stressful situation at home or work is prolonged in nature, a person can drink almost every day.
Denial of alcoholism is a problem for all alcoholics. You can constantly hear all kinds of excuses, like: "Yes, I'm an alcoholic and I like it! " Or "I don't drink for no reason. "The drinker never admits that he is prone to addiction, it seems to him that he is able to stop drinking whenever he wants. But, in fact, everything ends with another drunkenness, after which the assurances of oneself and of all those around us in their firmness of character begin again.
What to do in such a situation is not difficult to understand, deal with unequivocally. But what a wife should definitely not do is worth finding out. Not worth it:
- find excuses for your drinking addiction;
- hiding the problem, dressing it with a needle, trying to show that it is not what it is;
- justify the husband in front of colleagues or bosses for the fact that she does not work or is systematically late;
- drink with her spouse so she gets less;
- give drink at home, as long as you don't drink in the street;
- wash and clean after him the consequences of alcohol intoxication from him;
- buy alcohol
- blackmail with sexual intercourse;
- threaten divorce;
- treat her husband in secret from him.
There are different ways that can help a person get out of their binge:
- medication solution;
- home remedies;
- psychological assistance and rehabilitation program;
- prayer or conspiracy against alcoholism.
Light bingeing
With such an early stage of alcohol dependence, you can try to cope with popular methods to get rid of the binge. It is also good that the treatment can be done at home. The first thing to do is let the patient sleep and then maintain bed rest. Drinking plenty of fluids is recommended to restore the water-salt balance in the body. In this case, various fruit drinks, herbal teas and decoctions are suitable. You can also take a contrast shower, herbal baths, massages, and other procedures aimed at enhancing and restoring the body. It is not worth resorting to the help of medical intervention without consulting a specialist, otherwise it can cause unforeseen complications.
Excessive alcohol consumption
When the binge lasts for more than three days, you will most likely need the help of a narcologist. A specialist can be called at home. He will correctly assess the patient's condition and prescribe the drugs to be taken, carefully following the doctor's instructions.
Most of the time, to alleviate withdrawal symptoms, the doctor at home places an intravenous drip, which helps cleanse the blood of alcoholic toxins and ethanol breakdown products. It also usually contains restorative and sedative ingredients. The fact is that a person who drinks very often becomes aggressive, panics or experiences inexplicable fears.
To calm you down and restore your nervous system after a binge, your doctor may recommend classes with a psychologist and prescribe psychotropic medications.
Intense bingeing
An intense binge usually lasts for a week or more. If the situation is practically out of control, or the person who drinks has a history of chronic diseases, in this case, only hospitalization of the patient in a narcological or toxicological clinic can help. Treatment in a hospital will help prevent the possible unpleasant consequences of a severe binge, which can manifest itself in the form of "delirium tremens" or alcoholic psychosis. In such a state, the patient is unable to control himself and can commit aggressive actions directed at any member of the family, being in a disturbed state. Of course, it is advisable not to mention it, but if suddenly the withdrawal syndrome is very difficult, treatment with herbs or prayers is indispensable. You must go to a narcological hospital as soon as possible; otherwise, it can cause serious harm to your health, up to and including death.
conclusions
When a husband is an alcoholic, this is a terrible pain for those close to him. They worry and suffer, even more than the patient himself. Sometimes life becomes so unbearable that you have to make a decision: to support your family or your own health. Rarely is a woman able to end a once happy family life, especially if there are children who still love her daddy. All that is left for him is to lead his loved one out of this terrible trap. However, it is very difficult to do it alone and, in fact, it is not necessary. In this case, you cannot do without psychological help and support. The advice of an experienced specialist will tell you how to behave correctly and what to do to get her husband out of his drunkenness and return him to a normal life. It remains only to stock up on great patience, and in no case despair, because despair can lead to rash actions, which you can later sincerely regret.